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I See London, I See France/Transcript
:: : : Donnez-moi du papier toilette. : : Excuse me? : : at a French-English dictionary Donnez-moi du papier toilette. snaps out of it That means "give me some toilet paper" in French. : : Oh, Hef, I must've dozed off. : : Donnez-moi du papier toilette... : : : Hey look! There it is. Paris. City of love. City of romance. This tour package certainly was a good idea! looks through the brochure There's so much to see! The architecture. The art. The culture. The livestock. This is going to be a fantastic experience, Hef! : : Donnez-moi du papier toilette? :: : : Welcome to Sani-Tours Paris Express, I'll be your guide during your trip to this amazing city. The one thing I ask of you is that you please stay with the group, I've been doing this for 10 years now and I haven't lost anyone yet. Any questions? raises his hand Yes, Number Eleven. : : When do we get to see the Eiffel Tower? : : Any other questions? Okay then, let's get to it! Okay everybody, welcome aboard! We're presently heading downtown to see some of the city's most interesting historical spectacles, so get your cameras ready. Now if you all direct your attention on the left side of the bus, passengers do so you'll see a genuine French waste management receptacle. passengers take pictures Oh wow, over there on your right passengers move to the other side, crowding around Rocko, if you switch your eyes, that cloud kinda looks like bacon and eggs. Quick, over there on your left, man that's gotta be the ugliest person I've ever seen. : : : Hey, Hef, quick, come here! : : This is great, Rocko, did you see that guy? : : Forget that stuff, Hef. Look! The Eiffel Tower! Erected in 1889 by the famous structural engineer Alexander Gustave Eiffel passengers slowly walk over to Rocko's side of the bus, the Eiffel Tower demonstrates the boundless potential of steel and iron as building materials. : : Coming up on your left you might see- : : -Eiffel was responsible for financing the construction of the tower, which cost more than one million. : : irritated HELLO! HAVE WE ALL FORGOTTEN WHO'S GIVING THE TOUR HERE?! passengers walk back to their seats As I was saying, up ahead there's a park where I counted at least 457 pigeons at one time. Did you know that they eat pigeons here in France, of course they call them "dijons" or squab. You see so many interesting things when you're driving a bus. : : : Look at that, there's a green curd, I know what that means in the States, I'm not sure what it means here in France, different color shirts mean different things. If you look out the left side of the bus, you'll see a woman with a red hat. Boy, they wear some crazy hats in Paris. : : : Hey Mister Bus Driver- : : They call it fashion, I call it stupid-looking. : : -I think you just missed the Eiffel Tower exit! : : : ranting WHEN DO WE GET TO SEE THE EIFFEL TOWER! I THINK WE JUST MISSED THE EIFFEL TOWER! What if EVERYBODY wanted to see whatEVER they wanted to, hmm? Hey, everyone, Number Eleven wants to deviate from our pre-established route to take a big fat visit to the Eiffel Tower! WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT WITH YOU, YOUR HIGHNESS NUMBER ELEVEN, IF WE GO AHEAD AND CONTINUE ALONG OUR ORIGINAL SCHEDULE, HMMM, WOULD THAT BE OKAY? nods Okay, so, who here's hungry for a little authentic French cuisine? : : Ooooooooh! : : : a megaphone This Chokey Chicken was erected in September of '82. It was the first American franchise to open its doors in western Europe. Since then- : : Hey, Rocko, look. has inserted drumsticks in his nose They fit just like the ones at home. laughs Aren't you gonna eat yours? : : No, Hef, I'm not. This doesn't have anything to do with French cuisine. Nothing on this stupid tour has anything to do with France at all! : : But you love Chokey Chicken. : : Just forget it. : : : You know, you need to loosen up a bit, Rocko. You're a little too reluctant to burps embrace the French cuisine. : : : Rocko? : : Okay, everybody, gotta get a move on, there's a lot more to see today, let's go! : : Rocko. : : : Number Eight? : : Here. : : Number Nine? : : Here. : : Number Ten? : : Here. : : Number Eleven? : : : NUMBER ELEVEN! : : : WHERE'S NUMBER ELEVEN?! : : : NO ONE LEAVES DURING MY TOUR! NEVER! COME ON, WHERE IS HE?! TALK, YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE! : : : How could someone leave without thinking of the consequences? If word of this gets out I'll be ruined! I've got a wife and two kids to think of, you know. What about them, huh? Where's that leave them? WHY? WHYYYYY?! : : : WHAT ARE YOU DOING, NUMBER THIRTEEN?! You're not planning to leave me too, are you? gets out I HAVEN'T AUTHORIZED YOU TO EXIT THIS BUS! GET BACK ON THIS BUS AND WE'LL FORGET THE WHOLE THING! shakes his head no and runs off NUMBER THIRTEEN! : : : then calm for just a second The Louvre. to furious : : : Say, whys the sad face? : : The girl of my dreams is somewhere in the city, but I just can't find her. : : Aw, this is no problem. She's at the Eiffel Tower. : : Really? : : Sure. All cheesy love stories end there. : : Thank you, thank you, thank you! : : Go to her, Rocko! : : : Heffer Oh, you're such a funny American. : : Rocko, there you are! You're lucky you left when you did, that tour guide went nuts! Have you met Claudette yet? : : : You were right, Rocko, this Paris tour was the best! Look, there's a great shot of you, me and Claudette! I think she kinda liked you, Rocko, or should I say, pen pal! : : It's not like that, Hef, we're just friends. : : Oh, I think not, a French accent Rocko. : : Cut it out, Hef, I told you I'm not interested in her that way. Besides, she's not my type, I love Melba. : : : GET BACK ON THE BUS! plane takes off and he gets off the bus NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Category:Season 3 Transcripts